About the Hymn
As sinners who are well aware of our transgressions, every day is one of penitence. But during the 40 days of Lent, we focus even more on our sins, knowing our sins carried our Lord to Calvary and at Calvary our Lord carried our sins.
Lenten readings are full of repentance. To focus on one, David, who was well acquainted with contrition and repentance, said: “The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17).
This hymn is one of a broken spirit and a contrite heart. It strives to include a variety of sins, though no hymn can cover the spectrum of human depravity. (We are far too clever in inventing new ways to rebel against our God.) Singers will confess sins of thought, word, and deed; sins of commission and omission; sins of intention and ignorance; sins both open and secret. The seven “deadly” sins of the historical church are there—pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth—as is the sin of self-righteousness, that insidious sentiment that we really are not all that sinful.
The text can be used as the Confession portion of any worship service, with worship leaders using all the stanzas or selecting stanzas they believe would be especially edifying for their congregations. Outside of the season of Lent, stanzas 1 and 10 could be omitted.
The hymn should be performed at a chant-like♩= ca. 63.
Text
1. I search my heart these somber days,
these forty somber days of Lent.
I search for sins abiding there.
I name them now, and I repent.
I repent.
2. For every loveless deed I did
to satisfy a selfish whim,
and for each time a friend in need
sought help and I rejected them,
I repent.
3. For every angry word I said
that shattered someone’s tender heart,
and for the words I failed to speak
though justice asked I do my part,
I repent.
4. For times when ego ruled the day,
my head held high in foolish pride,
and for the thoughts of worthlessness
and self-contempt in which I hide,
I repent.
5. For days when I gave in to fears
that caged me in their brutal hold,
and for the days I forged ahead
without a prayer, too brash and bold,
I repent.
6. For when I craved what others had
and grumbled in ungrateful spite,
for when I sought excessiveness,
indulging every appetite,
I repent.
7. For every time I took the road
of ease when there was work to do,
and for the times I worked too much,
neglecting family, church, and you,
I repent.
8. For all the sins that I can name,
and those I did in ignorance,
and for the times I saw no sin,
deceived by my self-righteousness,
I repent.
9. For brazen acts that brought me shame,
those deeds that all the world could see,
and for the crimes I covered well,
my secret dark iniquities,
I repent.
10. I search my heart these somber days,
these forty somber days of Lent.
I search for sins abiding there.
I name them now, and I repent.
I repent.
© 2018 Laurie F. Gauger
Lectionary Reading
Ash Wednesday: Psalm 51:1–17
Year B, Fifth Sunday in Lent: Psalm 51:1–12
Year B, Season after Pentecost, Proper 13 (18): Psalm 51:1–12
Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
